Blog Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Zach

Ranking MCU films from worst to best, yes because I need content but also because I'm boreeeeed. Two posts in one week, I'm so good to my fans. But yeah I'm bored, read so many other article's rankings and I'm in complete disagreement with them all so thought I'd write my own. You'll probably disagree with my ranking but like the title says it's my opinion. Plus I've never been wrong in my life. Here we go, perhaps slight spoilers? I won't spoil Endgame but the rest I'm allowed to. 22. The Incredible Hulk (2008) Meh, was good at the time, hasn't aged particularly well, Mark Ruffalo is better and the Hulk is better as a side character, I don't believe he should have his own movie. However, if they made a 'Planet Hulk' movie I would be fully invested. 21. Thor: The Dark World (2013) Back when Thor wasn't a fun character, a rather boring film, shit villains, no wonder Natalie Portman wanted out ...

We all know I don't like my blog but I can't deny I'm so excited to write about this one . Seen it last night, if I think about certain parts for longer than 20 seconds I start crying again so I guess you could say it's made an impact. There's so much I want to say, unusual from me I know. So I'm just gonna list things and it will be a massive ramble but I have so many thoughts and things to say and words to type and holy fuck. SPOILER ALERT, LEGIT SO SO SO MANY I'll start with the marketing of the movie, it was GENIUS, gave hardly any of the plot away, showed nothing from the final battle which made room for SO many surprises. Marvel clearly realised everyone was gonna see it no matter what they showed in the trailers, so thank the lord they kept everything mostly a secret. Also amazing how within the first 20 minutes they completely subverted expectations, surely I can't be the only one who assumed they'd time travel with the s...

Without a single doubt, the GIMPIEST thing I've ever produced: I'm running out of blog ideas, haven't been to the cinema in a while and Fox's treatment of the X-Men has always annoyed me so I guess here we go. Again, nobody will read this- but for as long as I can remember the X-Men have always been my favourite superhero team. Mutants are 2929829 times cooler than any Avenger and when I was a young catholic schoolboy I used to pray for superpowers, probably why God hates me and doesn't answer any of my adult prayers.  But yeah, I'm probably gonna be rather opinionated on the subject because I'm cLuEd uP, eDuCaTeD aNd, as mentioned, extremely hungover.  Characters I understand not everything in a superhero film can be comic book accurate, and it doesn't always need to be, however, there are so many things the X-Men comics do right , that the studio ignores when making the movies. Here are some character nitpicks, you bored yet? ...

Bet my pals would prefer my doppelganger, he's me but can't speak Fans of my blog (that's a joke btw) will know that this film was on my most anticipated movies of the year list, and last week i finally got to see it. Just didn't blog about it right away because I hate being a blogger with my whole heart. So while its still #fresh in the cinema I better fire out this review and discussion before it loses hype, wouldn't want to disappoint my millions of readers. Disclaimer there will be spoilers when I talk theories but for now its just general thoughts and I'll warn before I discuss the ins and outs okay great. Before we start however i've made my blog an Instagram and I need to get a significant amount of followers to pass my uni course so gonna follow it please @empirestrikeszach (I'll remind you at the end too) So overall I enjoyed, proof that Get Out wasn't a fluke and Jordan Peele can make a class horror film. Lupita Nyong'o getting...

Another shit movie review,(shit as in my review not the film) So yesterday I went to see Captain Marvel and if you read my last post you'll know it was one of my most anticipated films of this year. I went to go see it on Friday but my cinema was closed and then on Saturday I was busy getting drunk at the park so it had to be Sunday.  I kept myself updated with the controversies surrounding the film (controversies quite similar to the most recent Star Wars movie). People were boycotting the film due to its 'feminist agenda', but I like to make up my own mind, and after watching, I really didn't get any vibes of any sort of agenda, however, for me the movie isn't without issues. I'll start off with the good The relationship between  Nick Fury and Captain Marvel (Samuel L Jackson and Brie Larson) was entertaining but the relationship between Nick Fury and the cat was perhaps my favourite part of the whole film (apart from one aspect i'll men...

Rocky Horror image and title NOT related to blog content  yo, me again Thought i'd list the films coming out this year that i'm super excited about, nobody cares but whatever. Just means i have a list to refer back to. About 65% of this list is superhero films. so in no particular order: we'll start with Captain Marvel (in cinemas 8 March 2019) mostly just want to see because i've seen every other Marvel movie and it would almost be rude not to, but the real excitement is for... Avengers Endgame (in cinemas 25 April 2019) Infinity War was amazing, can't wait to see everyone get brought back to life bc nobody ever dies in a Marvel movie.  This also comes out a day later in Spain (which is where i'll be at the time), and I have a friend who is cruelly threatening to spoil it for me  because they'll see it first, so if you are reading this blog, 'friend', am not even kidding al never speak to you ever again. Sh...

honestly, kill me but yeah turns out am not allowed to escape this blog, as some of you know I was forced to create this blog against my will in order to pass third year of uni and thanks to everyone who read it because I bloody well did it. because i passed it meant i could go on my year abroad which i am currently on and LoViNg EvEry sEcOnD oF iT. I genuinely thought my days of being an influencer were over but apparently the lord wants this blog to be a thing because im currently in spain doing the spanish version of my class from last year. maybe i should just accept it and create a youtube channel to go with it. okay so yeah, its back, not for long again, you dont have to read it just like click on it when you see it to help me get views n that and it will be gone again before we know it. back to chatting all things film i suppose, very sorry your friend zach. here's he is before he went to spain  if only he knew he would have to restart his blog, he would ha...

RIP to my blog This is my final blog post (thank the lord), and seen as it’s the last one it’s probably going to be worse than the other 4 posts combined.  So on Tuesday or Wednesday I went to see the new Thor film with my friend Lynn (there’s the shout out you asked for) and it was Hela good.   If you’ve seen the film you’ll get that terrible joke. For anyone that doesn’t know me, even though I’m almost 1000% sure only my friends and family read this, I really like Marvel films, so did actually have high expectations for this film, and I wasn’t disappointed. I’ll start off with the things I liked: It was very very funny, Jeff Goldblum is in it, Cate Blanchett is in it, there’s a fight scene to Immigrant song by Led Zeppelin which is pretty cool, the Hulk v Thor scene is also really cool, and it’s colourful and nice to look at. Things I didn’t like: Jeff Goldblum isn’t in it enough, neither is Cate Blanchett, and some of the British accents are distrac...

A list of films I’ve never seen but probably should have by now (tbh I’m mostly writing this for one day when I’m super bored and can’t be bothered scrolling through Netflix for ages to find something). As previously seen in other blog posts I have bad taste in films, which unfortunately means there are many brilliant films I haven’t seen.  So here are the 15 films I feel I really should watch: 15. Titanic - I know Leonardo DiCaprio dies at the end so I can’t see myself sitting for 3 hours to watch it. 14. The Notebook 13. Inception 12.  Into the Wild-  I keep meaning to watch this film but it’s like 2 and a half hours long and I’m really busy. 11. The Matrix 10. Fight Club - first rule of fight club; watch fight club 9. A Clockwork Orange- I have a phobia of things touching eyeballs (for example  I could never put contact lenses near my face), and I know there’s a part in this film where the main guy has a thing holding his eye open and tha...

I’ll read this back in like 20 minutes and completely disagree with my own choices. If anyone is currently scrolling through Netflix looking for something to watch, here’s a list of my top 10 favourite films to inspire you. A pre-warning, some of these films aren’t the best but they make me happy and it’s my list so: 10. Dumb and Dumber - I genuinely watched this film on a daily basis between the ages of 7-11, its terrible but it makes me feel nostalgic. 9. Kingsman: The Secret Service - again nothing special but it’s my go-to film for when I’m hungover along with… 8. Easy A - again, great for when hungover (I also have this on my iPad and therefore watch it every time I’m on a journey lasting longer than 2 hours) . 7. The Rocky Horror Picture Show - don’t dream it, watch it 6. Whiplash - a good film, watch it, play the drums to it. 5. Star Wars: Episode V- the Empire Strikes Back - don’t want to spoil anything but _____ is _____’s father, you’ll ne...

This is why I shouldn’t see films that I’m too stupid for… Last night my friend and I decided to try out ‘screen unseen’, an offer from Odeon where you pay £5 for a ticket, but don’t know what film you’re going to see.  The film ended up being ‘The Death of Stalin’ , starring Steve Buscemi, Simon Russell Beale and Jeffrey Tambor (among many others), and is directed by Armando Iannucci.  The film, funnily enough, is about the death of Joseph Stalin and the chaos of the regime after his death. As someone who finds absolutely zero enjoyment in historical films, I was pleasantly surprised when I discovered the film is actually a satire, rather than a drama. However, aside from some funny jokes, I found the film to be very confusing, and at times boring. However, I’ll start with the pros: Steve Buscemi  obvs, and as mentioned previously, the film is funny (people laughed a lot more than I did but that’s probably because I’m quite slow and jokes often go over my ...

A young student was obligated to start a blog as part of his marketing class at university.  Blog Post I: The Critical Menace. As part of my third year marketing studies at university I have been tasked with creating a blog and using digital marketing methods to reach an audience. The blog should focus on a subject that interests both me, and my potential audience, which is why I chose to focus on film .  Some read the news, some read about football, I read film reviews (I might not know what’s going on in the world but I know the new Blade Runner film is supposed to be amazing) . Whilst reading reviews on sites such as ‘Rotten Tomatoes’ and ‘Metacritic’, or watching them on YouTube,  from reviewers such as Jeremy Jahns or Chris Stuckmann,  far too often I come across films with reviews they don’t deserve. There are hundreds of films that audiences liked and critics hated, or the opposite: Take for example the Darren Aronofsky film 'Mother!' starring...